Two years ago I was assaulted badly by the father of my kids, as a result I was unable to walk for over three months and was in incredibly severe pain. I understand that my bulging disc was probably an accumulated injury, but this event was the icing on the cake.
I have never experienced such suffering in my life I mean childbirth was a walk in the park compared with this. I had sciatica down my left leg which left me not understanding how I could possibly live with such unbelievable pain. I would lie in my bed day after day taking strong pain killers that didn't even touch the sides. My whole life flashed before my very eyes, I thought to myself how on earth am I going to bring up these two kids on my own with no support network (as I live many miles from my family).
My mum who is also living on a daily basis with arthritic pain had to fly up to take care of me and the kids. It was like the blind leading the blind. I thank Goodness for my mum, without her I don't know what would have happened with the kids. The father disappeared.
Just when I was giving up hope one day I was lying in my bed and was just about to drift off to sleep in that conscious/semiconscious state. I saw the face of a man in front of me I said who are you? He replied with St. Jude. Although I was brought up a Catholic, I am now a Buddhist. I was unfamiliar with this saint. He held up a piece of paper for me to read which turned out to be a prayer, just as I started to read the first few words my mum walked in the door.
He said to me tell your mum that I just appeared to you so I did and she said oh my god that's amazing. Your brother sent you up a relic of St. Jude and I had forgotten to give it to you, so she went and got it and came back and told me that he was the saint for the hope for the hopeless. It had a little prayer attached to it too. I must admit it did give me hope and faith that I would get better.
From then on I started manifesting all sorts of situations to help me recover. Free physiotherapy, Watsu (water therapy), a friend gave me $80 worth of swimming at the local swimming pool, another friend flew me to Bali and paid for me to get the most amazing massages everyday there, I also swam in the water holes in the rain forest every second day, this particular forest has crystals all in it on the mountains above. I got 95% better. Finally I was pain free.
Another thing I did was to study spirituality intensely. What I call the universal higher power, connecting with the universal love vibration, meditating on forgiveness, feeling compassion, thinking and trying to understand the concepts of attachment and impermanence etc..
Recently I moved some furniture and ended up regressing slightly and have been in pain for 6 weeks now. It is no where near as painful as before but nonetheless it is rather distracting mentally and draining emotionally. The day I did it I was having a moment of anger toward the father of the kids. I mean I was feeling really angry and of course that is the mindset which I put my back out. Of course the spiritual path to enlightenment requires constant attention. So yet again I am reminded of what it is I need to learn. Just when you think you've got it, you are presented with a situation to reinforce the lesson. Just to make sure you stay mindful. Mmmmm, don't you just love that.
Ok so yet again I manifested help. A kind friend flew me to get some help, I found a wonderful man who obviously feels compassion for those with not alot of money and recognizes that not only should people who can afford treatment be helped but also those less fortunate also deserve to be helped. As I have been unable to work for quite some time it has put me in a rather compromising financial situation. Anyway this guy who is an acupuncturist treated me for $5 a session. I must say it does erk me a little that to get professional treatment from various people costs alot, so it leaves people on a limited income left to suffer. Where are all the true healers? I am fortunate to have come across a few.
Another treatment I had was the combination of mind, body, soul. They shared with me their views on the healing process and took the holistic approach. How wonderful that there are actually clinics out there practicing this.
So I am yet again on the pathway to being healed. I know wholeheartedly that this is a reminder of my spiritual journey here and I understand that this just isn't back pain. It is one of the pathways to clarity. Although I am still suffering, I intend to meditate, and bring forgiveness back into my heart and set the father of my kids free. Without this I know I won't truly heal the back pain. - Amelia