Living with Unbearable Back Pain

I am 36 years old. A married mother of three with a full time career. I have always had little twinges of back pain because of my lifestyle. I am what many would consider a country girl, I love to ride horses, go 4wheeling with my friends and take the motorcycles out for a weekend ride. Play football with friends at barbecues and what not so a little back pain here and there was not a big deal. Take an aspirin and I was fine.

Well, my problems started 12-21-2007. I was on the 4wheeler. Because my 4wheeler had been acting up, I decided to take my husbands to ride around our 79 acre property to look for a lost pet. I came back to the house and instead of putting the 4wheeler in the garage I decided to just park it on the back porch and deal with it later. My husbands is an automatic, anyone that knows anything about 4wheelers know they can have a mind of their own in some instances. In this instance, I had to bring the 4wheeler up on a 6inch step incline to get it on the porch. I had to keep giving it a little more then a little more gas to jump the step. The 4wheeler shot up the porch on a wheelie. Before I could react, I hit the brick wall and this 900lb 4wheeler was laying on top of me. I was rushed to the hospital diagnosed with 3 broken ribs, internal bleeding, collapsed left lung and chest muscle tearing.

Recovery was no picnic, it was very painful. March 9 2008, once again I was taken to the ER, I had extreme back pain that literally brought me to the ground. Since then I have been under the care of a sports injury doctor and pain management doctor but yet the exact cause is a mystery. I have undergone all the tests except MRI, can't have one because I am a cochlear implant wearer. I have had two epidural injections, painful spinal nerve stimulation tests. It has been determined that I do have some nerve damage from compressed nerves and possibly disk damage but without the MRI they can not be sure. My doctors do not want to open up my back to get a good look at the spine until all options for treatment have been eliminated. I am currently scheduled for a nerve burning procedure.

Meanwhile, I am in severe pain and keep getting pain pills, muscle relaxers, spasm medication and now anti-depressants thrown at me. None of the pills help, yes it takes the edge off the pain but the pain is still there and still bad, just not as bad without the pills. The pain chart they use, without the pills, I am way above a 10, with the pills on a good day, I am a 8 or 9.

I work full time and try to live a life with pain. I admit and have admitted to my husband I have thought of suicide because the pain is too much. Chronic pain sufferers I do not feel get treated with respect. I want the pain to stop! Doctor's are scared to prescribe the strong pain pills because of the "pill shoppers" and addiction possibilities. They want to go through every option before opening my back and maybe fixing what is causing the pain. I am at my wit's end. My family misses me, I miss me. I can not enjoy life when my life involves having to stay in the house because the pain is too much for me to handle.

This is my story, first time I have blogged it, so sorry if it is long. Would love to communicate with other chronic pain sufferers to support each other in dealing with the massive depression that comes with chronic pain. Have a great day! - Sara

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