Trying to Live with Constant Pain

It doesn’t end there though. I'm now 25 and on 31st January this year I had an accident in work. I fell down the stairs after slipping on a "grip strip" that wasn’t very grippy! I felt every step hit my back. One of my colleagues managed to stop me falling 2/3rds of the way down, by which time I’d probably fallen down about 20 steps. I was in complete shock, I couldn’t move my right leg and I burst out crying. An ambulance took me to hospital; they did 11 x-rays on my back and leg. They said there weren’t any breakages or fractures and I just needed to take it easy. It’s now April 14th and I’m in exactly the same amount of pain as I was when I fell. I've tried gels and creams, bath soaks, heat packs, heat sprays, cold sprays, massage chairs, bath massager, I’m undergoing physio and I’m on very strong pain killers. Nothing gets rid of the pain, not even for a short time, the pain killers make the pain tolerable, but it never goes away.

To get to sleep, or to lie down in the most comfortable position possible, I have to lie on a folded blanket under the top of my back, a full pillow under my lower back, with a cushion on top of each, then two pillows under my head, with a bean bag type cushion on top and a bean bag cushion under my feet. It takes me ages to get to sleep and when I do finally drift off, I’m usually woken about 5 times a night because of the pain. It’s really getting me down because I can’t go to work so I’m stuck at home everyday on my own. I can’t do too much because it hurts so bad and then the aching starts and I have to keep turning down nights out with friends because I can’t go out. It’s taken over my life.

I’m 25 but feel like I’m 95. I hobble around and that’s before the spasms and pins and needles and shooting pains. I suffer with depression anyway, but this is making things worse, I feel really low and would give any thing to have just one whole day without pain. To add to things, work is being unsupportive, they have given me my final warning letter because I haven’t been allowed back to work since and I’ve got to be assessed by occupational health again soon. I might even lose my job, and the way things are at the moment, both financially and because of the state of my back, I’m really worried. I don’t know what to do. If anyone reading this can suggest anything, please, please email me. I would be so grateful to have any kind of response as I’m so lonely as well. Thank you for your time xx - Kelly